Don't I know you?

Events have got me doing quite a bit of thinking these past 24 hours.

Today I was visiting my aunt in the shop where she works, when someone who was my closest friend, my companion for two-years, walked past the window. I shamefully looked away. But the worst thing is that I know why.

Last night a group of us went out for dinner for Bryony's birthday/my birthday/Christmas/New Year and a good friend of mine from secondary school, someone who helped make it all a little more bearable and who I haven't seen in four-years, came along. And it was just like 'old times' with all of us. And again, I know why.

But what I can't figure out, no matter how hard I try, is why the people who we're closest to and care the most about, are the very people we don't stay in touch with when thing's go awry, no matter how much we might want to, and are the very people we're most awkward and uncomfortable around when our paths cross again, even years in the future.

And now I've sat here for 30 minutes wondering why I've written this entry, whether it's an attempt at some sort of redemption, while hovering over the 'publish post' button wondering whether I should push it.